you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
