I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
