eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
