I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
