I puked a lego.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
