I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
