you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
