I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
