New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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