So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
