I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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