I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
