i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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