Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
