We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
