so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I want to be your penis for a week.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
