There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
