Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
