i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
