when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he fucked my hip out of place.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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