Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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