You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
