I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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