In the future we'll all be gay
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize