i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
