my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everyone says I win the strip club
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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