some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
