It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jerry, you need to find god
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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