toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
