last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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