Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
