And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
