the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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