I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
