The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize