I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
