The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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