when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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