No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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