At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
