it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
