is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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