i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
me + whiskey = a bad person
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
