if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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