i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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