his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize