maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There's even glitter on my cock...
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