WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
