this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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