Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
