Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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