I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize