i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How's work?
Spinning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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