I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
