you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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