You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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