I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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